Mike Bierschenk

Sorry, LJ: I'm running late for pre-rehearsal stuff, but I wanted to get this out, so you get a copy of a broadcast email:

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Hi Englishy/Creative types--

This is a little late notice, I realize, but better late than never, I suppose.  If you happened to be at Pride this past Saturday, you may have noticed the Columbus Gay Men's Chorus's float, which was covered in crazy folk singing Boy George, the Buggles, etc.  Or maybe you weren't there, and you're wondering what in the WORLD that has to do with anything.

Here 'tis: This Friday and Saturday, CGMC presents We Love the 80s, a showcase of some of our favorite songs from the Decade that Brought Us Legwarmers (which is my personal pet term for it).  You name it, we've got it: Boy George, Michael Jackson, Toto, Bon Jovi, and more.  (Yes, of course, 'more' includes Madonna.)  Now, I know what you're thinking: "Mike wants me to go hear choral versions of pop songs?  That sounds... dull."

It ain't.

Trust me, I was worried when I learned the theme, back in January.  No more worries: the last thing we'd dream of doing is standing dully on the risers singing these songs in tuxes.

So.

CGMC presents We Love the 80s
Dates: Fri/Say, June 26 & 27
Time: 8pm
Place: Capital Theatre at the Vern Riffe Center, downtown
Tickets: 29/27 (main floor/mezzanine) UNLESS you get them through me (see below)
Tix avail: http://www.cgmc.com ; OR through me, in which case there's a discount -- 2$ if I recall correctly.  Email me directly by midday Thursday with ticket count and level.

So come on, rat your hair and cut out the neckhole in your sweatshirt.  Don't you want to hear me pull out the solo on Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car"?  I would.

Shillfully yours,
Mike Bierschenk

The last week or so has been all about celebration, really: good, but bittersweet.  My parents and grandparents were both in town for Epilog, which was a resounding success.  (And it was great to have Jess and Jeff in attendance -- thanks guys!)  I really love reading, so it was good to be able to do that.  And to be able to get some pictures of Jarod and I in nice clothes -- I'll upload some when I have a chance!

( etc. )

Now I just have to get a job!  I have an application in to Arts & Sciences Advising at OSU, and I'll be submitting a couple more to various depts at OSU tomorrow, as well as starting my search for non-OSU positions.  So... keep me in your prayers/thoughts?

And soon, San Diego.  Which reminds me: anybody available for airport runs this Saturday morning and next Sunday (the 21st) morning?  Or some occasional cat-sitting in between (Chewy will be kenneled, but Phoebs will be around)?

1.  I was thinking earlier today, when I was working at the DMP: I like military guys, as an instructor and as an office worker.  They're generally pretty fit, which is pleasing to the eye, and they're almost always polite -- I never, but never get called "Sir" in my job, and yet there they are saying "Yes, sir" and being all respectful.  Good times.

2.  We had a new campus preacher out today, in the plaza at 15th & High.  As I was walking by, I caught "...but we [presumably the members of his group] no longer see through a mirror darkly; we see crystal clear!"  Pretty fucking presumptuous, buddy.

Um. Hi.  I don't even know where to start.  There have been a lot of things I've wanted to post about in the past... uh... couple months.  But I never seem to actually post, and I've been thinking about this.  Historically, I tend to post less when I'm in a relationship, but I don't think that's it.  I mean it's part of it -- I've been word-vomiting at Jarod, instead of doing it here, and then I just feel like I'm rehashing things I've already dealt with if I put it up here -- but it's hardly all.  Honestly, the other thing has been my stress level, which I didn't realize was so high until it dropped.

( explaining myself )( Upcoming events )

Anyway.  I'm sorry for being away.  I've been absent at best.  I'm going to try to be back, because this is important to me -- my friends are important to me.

i just handed my advisor a pretty much full, ordered draft of my thesis. Madness. Feels good. Now just have to write that paper left over from last qtr. :)

I've mentioned this in emails and on Facebook, but I might have missed some local people, I realize.  So here's your last-minute notification!


This weekend the Columbus Gay Men's Chorus, in collaboration with the Columbus Children's Choir, will perform Andrew Lloyd Webber's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at the Capital Theatre downtown.  (8pm Friday night, 2pm and 8pm Saturday, and that's it!).  Tickets are available at http://www.cgmc.com, or at the door; $15/20 for children, $25/30 adults.  The singing alone's worth the price of admission, and the coat's not too shabby either!

We've been working our asses off, and you should come and view the well-toned results (har.).  Seriously, though, the Children's Choir is absolutely amazing, and we're pretty great, too.  It's been a pretty moving experience, much to my surprise, and I'd love to be able to share it with all of my friends.

Slightly too much alcohol for conversation = WAY too much alcohol for making coherent statements on student papers.

I made roast beef poboys with debris gravy on homemade Louisiana-style French bread for dinner.  The meat was perfect; the bread was actually quite good for a classic french bread, but a little too stiff for NOLA.  Still, delicious.  Pity my camera has gone AWOL.

I'm in a musical.  Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, March 20 and 21, Tix 25-30 for adults depending on section.  http://www.cgmc.com

Lávash Café had a special on okra and tomato stew today.  It was fantabulous.

I'm completely fucking swamped with work.  My current mild inebriation is less than conducive to work.  This is definitely an error in judgment.

Did I mention the vast win of the roast beef?  Seriously.

Also, Thurn's souse is so many kinds of amazing I can't describe, even if the Facebookers seem to think the mere concept is gross.  They are, obviously, wrong.

Also also, the CGMC people are WAY more active on FB than most of my other friends.  A little bit of an adjustment.

Also cubed, if you're waiting for your roast beast to finish, a snack-sandwich of buttered toast, whole-grain mustard, sweet relish, and smoked turkey is divine.

The BBC allegedly believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here [of course, there's no attribution and this list doesn't match the one hosted at the BBC's website, whence it seems to spring, but hey -- who needs references and papertrails, right?]:

How do your reading habits stack up?

( Another book list meme )

Well, here I am in Chicago at the AWP conference.  We've been having a good time -- rode the Megabus on Wednesday, getting dropped off near Union Station just a scant mile from our hotel.  Brogdon, Maria and I are staying at the Palmer House, and.. god, y'all, that's some swanky swank there.  One of our fellow conference-goers (who is wisely staying at the Travelodge; we booked our room before we found that the department was cutting our funding) calls it the four-dollar-banana hotel, for lo, that is the price of a banana on the room service menu.  But it's also absolutely gorgeous, and really with the conference rate it's affordable, even if not super-cheap.  No use crying over spilt milk, so I might as well just enjoy the luxury :)

Yesterday, the first day of the conference, I was a bad conference-goer.  I didn't even bother to show up to registration, much less attend any panels or talks.  Instead, Brogdon, J-Love, Annie and I went to the Shedd Aquarium.  It was SO MUCH FUN.  The exhibits are very well laid out, they have a great variety of different ecosystems represented (everything from the Amazon to the Mekong to the Caribbean to Lake Michigan wetlands), and at 17.95 for all that and a 15 min Planet Earth short on a big screen, it was totally worth it.  When I die, I want to come back as a Leafy Sea Dragon, is all I'm saying.

( we continue exploring... )

( ...and then I talk a long time about queer poetics. )

And now back to rough drafts.

So... CGMC had its first choreography rehearsal today, and it kicked my ass, both physically and mentally.  Physically, just because I've lost the callouses I used to have on my toes from Dance Guild -- I'm feeling hot spots on both big toes.  Also, note to self: bring/wear shorts next time.

The more annoying thing is the mental fatigue.  I feel like I've reverted to 1996.  Back at the beginning of high school, I was completely uncoordinated; choreography for choir shows was an ugly thing set on my body, all gangly and unfluid.  But by the end of high school, even if I wasn't the best dancer ever, I at least looked like I knew what I was doing.  Well, it's been almost nine years since I did any of that.  And I thought I was doing ok, but then we moved to a room with mirrors, and... y'all.  As I said walking to the car, I'm too butch for this shit.  And I feel heavy, and kludgy, and ungraceful.  And it's not helping that I ended dancing a lot tonight right in front of our guy playing Joseph, who is himself a dancer.  And... fuck.  I felt all of 14 again, all "I look a moron in front of the cool kid."  I'm a smart, sexy, hilarious, accomplished man, and yet I felt like zilch.  Fuck this shit.  I'm better than the way I'm feeling.  But right now my streak of perfectionism is really getting to me -- nothing to do for it but just keep trying.  I've mastered my body before, and I can do it again.  I just hope I can do it in the next month and a half.

I have a new favorite topping combination at Hound Dog's.  Green olives, sauerkraut, and Cajun hot links on thin crust with spicy sauce (basically sliced andouille sausage).  Unfortunately, I do not foresee a good deal of this heartburn-deluxe pizza, because I may be the only person I know who would not only tolerate but adore this combination.

In other news, the quarter started.  I'm only taking the one class, a seminar in the 20C long poem with Brian McHale that is super-awesome while also being slightly frightful.  Currently reading for Thursday: Anne Carson's Autobiography of Red, a novel in verse.  I'm only about a third of the way in, but I can already recommend it.  It's a fast and completely engaging read.  I'm so in love.

Tried out for the Columbus Gay Men's Chorus after years of hemming and hawing over whether I should.  Helped in this by the fact that my boyfriend's in it; it's a bit of an incentive.  Had an amusing moment when Jarod reported that the director said to him "He's actually really good!"  Not really as insulting as it sounds; since it's an open chorus (auditions are for placement, not admission), the fact that I was tagging along with a significant other didn't really speak volumes about my abilities.  We're doing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in conjunction with the Columbus Children's Chorus, which is pretty awesome.  Show goes up the 20th and 21st of March; more on that later (and more on whether I got any sort of non-chorus role).

As you could surmise, things are going well with Jarod.  I'm very happy right now, even in the midst of this demon quarter that, for all I'm probably doing less work on a daily basis that last quarter, is still kicking my ass.  Although I did nearly die of sexual exhaustion over New Year's weekend, which would have been... awkward at best.

Currently teaching 110.02, which is the Literature-based section of First-Year Writing.  I like this group of students, I like my teaching slot (MW 3:30-5:18), and I'm glad to be working with literary texts -- it's fun.  Just recently got offered (and accepted) a section of 266, the undergrad poetry workshop, for spring quarter.  I'm over the moon about that, since I was in no way expecting to get to teach workshop a second time during my tenure here.  I have so many ideas for how to do better!

Turned in ~45 poems to Kathy at the end of Autumn Quarter.  She seems to be of the opinion that I've got length covered for my thesis, though I'm shooting for more like 60 poems.  We haven't actually talked about it yet, since she's swamped with other stuff, but I'm feeling more optimistic about my thesis and my writing in general than I have in a while.

Minstrelry's got a private gig coming up the first weekend in February, which is pretty exciting.  It sounds like it's going to be a really fun event.  My only regret is that a couple of fabliaux I discovered in my research -- "The Three Women Who Found A Penis" and "The Knight Who Could Make Cunts Talk" -- will not be appropriate to the occasion.

And... that's the round up, I guess.  Hopefully the next gap in communication will be shorter.

Quick update: currently in memphis, onward to tx tomorrow. Temporarily dead with, as Elisa calls it, the both-ends plague, but (mercifully) better. Bye!

The most recent PHD Comic made me laugh bitterly.  No, grad students aren't being made to take unpaid leave or anything like that, but the economy finally got around to annoying me directly.  Every year at the AWP conference (the biggest creative writing conference), there's a pedagogy forum, wherein folks submit one-page papers outlining a pedagogical point -- an exercise, a bit of philosophy, whatever -- and then, if their paper is accepted, they sit around for a while and discuss pedagogy with other like-minded folks for about an hour.  It's also the easiest way to be an official presenter at the conference, which is the magic bullet that lets you access your travel allowance from the department.

Last year, when AWP was in New York, everyone and their dog suddenly decided to go the conference.  Times was, pretty much anyone who submitted a paper was accepted, but under the flood of submissions the process got MUCH more selective.  So in those plush economic times, our program director negotiated an agreement with our department chair such that anyone attending AWP could use their travel allowance, regardless of presenter status.  That offer was extended to this year, and thus there was very little discussion of pedagogy papers on our listserve, and most people didn't submit.  Hell, I actually wouldn't mind having the extra CV line, and even I didn't submit; I knew I had the money anyway, and I was busy.

Up through last week, the department chair was keeping the funding agreement on the table, but now it's been retracted pursuant to a memo from the College regarding non-presenter funding.  I'm not upset with the chair or with our program director -- they both did what they could, it sounds like -- but it still stands that people have been making decisions based on funding assumptions, and that rug was suddenly yanked out from under us.  I mean, I can swing it, and I think everybody in my hotel room is still going, so at least we don't have to scramble to maintain our per-person cost, but it remains annoying.

On the plus side, we managed to find a sub-100$ one-way flight down to TX for my brother-in-law, thus making it possible for him to work his alloted hours AND for me (and, incidentally, Elisa) to drive down to the grandparents' for early-Christmas (Grammie's doing Christmas the weekend before).  Woohoo!

And now that I've finished complaining mildly, I need to get back to work.  Have to read poetry manuscripts for the Journal prize (due Monday) and grade student portfolios (also due Monday).

It happened this afternoon.  The unthinkable, that is.  First I was walking down Calumet and saw a husky (or a malamute? or something like that? looked kinda like a Greenland Dog on Wikipedia), and I thought, "he looks so soft and fluffy!"  But, you know, whatever.  Dogs can be fluffy.

Then, though, then, I was at the co-op.  And as I was leaving, there was this adorable little corgi tied up outside while her owner picked up a couple of things.  It wasn't the common red coloration, either -- it was more like a blue heeler.  And it was very friendly.  And I thought "Aw, I want a little corgi to snuggle up with and take on walks."

Though now I feel guilty, because Phoebe is being extremely cute and playful :)

It is now 3:42am.  I have just finished my final project for Old English, a poetic translation of "Wulf and Eadwacer" (respecting the alliterative meter) accompanied by 5.5 page translation notes with critical reference.  I should be dead-tired, but I feel totally wired.  I really enjoyed this project, even if it did sneak up on me a bit (I thought it was due next week until two days ago; I've done pretty much the entire project in that time).  That's pretty awesome.  Now I need to go to bed though, otherwise my sleep schedule will never never never be anything resembling normal for, oh, the next month.

Well, that settles it.  I'm sick.  When I'm sick I eat VAST amounts of food, and in the past five hours I've had: about a half-pound of cheese (and the requisite crackers), a plate of rice and black beans, another plate of buttered rice, an apple, and a bowl of corn flakes.  That's another whole meal, basically, and I only eat two meals a day.  And though I can feel that my stomach is full, my body still thinks it wants more food.  Stupid cold weather leaking in my window and taking up residence in my head.

Luckily it's a light sickness, one I can function during.  All it really means is that I have to (a) blow my nose a helluva lot and (b) seriously evaluate my desire to live when I wake up in the morning.  Or at least, that's what it's doing right now; let's hope it stays level or improves.

Bah.

And now, as a reward for reading my whinging, a bit of workplace humor.  We were discussing tooth whitening systems, and my boss mentioned that he uses one his dentist gave him, a gel-based thing that stays in for 30 minutes and makes him drool copiously.  Not, he said, something you'd want to do at work (as opposed to, say, whitening strips).

Coworker: So you just sit at home and drool and watch... who's that guy that you watch... Anderson Cooper?
Boss:  Oh no!  I dress up for Anderson.  This is more for watching Rachael Ray.  I wouldn't want Anderson to think I didn't care.

Question:  Having watched 2 episodes of The Legend of the Seeker, should I watch the third episode, which is also saved on the DVR?

Rational Answer: No, no, a thousand times no.  It's really not terribly good.  In fact, it's pretty damned not-good.

My Answer, as it turns out: Oh, why not?  I mean, it's only 11:30 AND I don't have to work until 11am tomorrow AND it is, after all, delightfully cheesy.  Plus Richard's not that bad looking; if only he would stop wearing that silly shirt.

Oh, show.

I am intrigued by the writing system they've chosen to use, it's worthwhile noting.  From the few glimpses I've seen, it looks like Futharc runes and Greek letters had a love-child.  Of course, this will never be investigated, much as the actual underpinnings of the magic system will not.  That would take too much time away from the overwrought battle scenes.

Totally bizarre thing today: I'm sitting in the DMP, headphones in and reading, and about 5 minutes after the 3:30 class timeslot has started, an instructor runs in.  He's obviously very agitated, unnerved, and he says "A girl in my class, she fainted -- she fainted, she -- she's fainting..."  Before I even really realize what I'm doing, I'm running down the hall, dragging the instructor behind me.

I get into the room, and it's pretty obvious who the victim* is: she's sitting, shoulders slumped, pale (and maybe a little ashen, but that might be my memory adding some choice ornamentation), and her entire torso and lap are covered in red.  There was something red hanging out of her mouth.  She didn't respond to my voice, or to a firm shoulder-shake, so I told the instructor to call emergency services.  While I was feeling for a pulse, she suddenly came to, and seemed... well, honestly, fine, other than being shaken.  Anyway, I'm barking off information to the instructor, you know, "she's just regained consciousness, seems aware, breathing normally..."  She went to the bathroom with another girl to rinse out her mouth, and walked out of the building on her own power in the company of EMS.  The red, so far as I can tell, wasn't blood -- she had had a turkey sandwich and a salad, so maybe it was a raspberry vinaigrette, or something.

Anyway, this isn't really about her, but about me.  And I don't mean it was about my heroism, or something ridiculous like that.  Really, it's about the power and importance of First Aid training.  I've been receiving First Aid training in one form or another since I was... probably ten or so.  So when an emergent situation arose, I didn't have to think, didn't have to freak out.  I *knew* what to do, and I was able to remain calm, and keep everyone else calm. 

Everyone should receive first aid training.  Everyone.  It should be required in schools, in workplaces.  This situation wasn't terribly wretched, but it could have been, and I feel confident that I could have handled that, too, but that's not because I'm anyone special.  It's because I've been trained, which is an empowering experience.  And if the instructor in question had training, then he, too, could have responded just as ably; the experience wouldn't have been so upsetting for him and his class. 

I don't know where I'm going with this, except that I'm grateful in this experience, as I have been in other prior experiences, for the various authority figures who have compelled me to receive what training I have.

*This term seems odd here, since she was the victim OF any act, but the only other possibility I can think of is 'patient', and that seems inappropriate, too, since I'm not a medical professional.  Hell, I realized after this was all over that my Red Cross First Aid lapsed over this past summer, so I'm not even technically cert'd in that.

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In other news, I had a lovely cocktail this evening.  I got a bottle of Old Overholt on Tuesday (only $14!), because I had a craving for rye whisky.  I found a recipe for the Bone cocktail here, and adapted it slightly according to convenience and on-hand ingredients:

2 oz. rye whisky
1 scant teaspoon 1:1 simple syrup (my current batch happens to be ginger-infused, which was kinda nice)
1 teaspoon lemon juice
2 dashes Angostura bitters
1-2 dashes Tabasco

Mix in rocks glass; add 2 ice cubes.  Slam quickly if you must, but I liked to sip it in a hot bath with a reading of Paulo Freire's "The Pedagogy of the Oppressed," which was a perfect situation except for the Freire.

Lines at the polls were actually pretty short this morning.  Elisa, Francis, and I left their place a bit after 7:00, walked down the bike path, voted, and were out the door at the Tuttle Recreation Center by a few minutes after 8.  Given that it's a good 25, 30-minute walk to Tuttle, we probably only waited for 20 minutes, which is awesome.  A poll worker told F & I that, had we come in for opening, as I had considered doing, we would have waited much longer.  Apparently everyone and their dog thought it would be smart to get there very early, and it backfired.

So at least in this one precinct, lines were not bad at all.  I suspect they'll get unpleasant around lunch, and truly horrible after work, so if you haven't voted yet, I'd say try and go off-peak.  Civic responsibility!

I really felt quite good today, and I have a suspicion as to why: Breathe Right strips.  I wore one last night, and it was amazing.  I haven't breathed like that in... ever, I think.  My nose is always a little stopped up, and I don't think I've ever really been able to breathe deeply without obstruction, at least not in living memory.  This is hard to describe, sorry.  Think of it as... it's like going into the mountains and breathing that clear, fresh air.  Only in Ohio.  You really can't understand unless you've been in the same situation.  Anyway, I might have to invest in these... permanently.  It's like a drug :)  And I felt amazingly refreshed despite not getting all that much sleep last night.  Woot!

Anyway.  So there was this huge bookfair today.  A professor emeritus died recently, and he requested that all his books be donated to needy grad students.  He remembered his days in graduate school, unable to afford books, and wanted to give others a leg up.  I... I couldn't stop.  Like Breathe Right strips, it was kind of like drugs.  I brought home a whole box of books.  This is a problem... it's sort of like a relapse, following my great Half Price Books purge over the summer.  And now my to-read pile is completely unmanageable.

( Long list follows )